I can't even apologize anymore. Let's just pretend this hiatus never happened and start to ease back into things with one of my favorite recurring features of this blog, the iPod Shuffle. You know the drill: I put the iPod on shuffle, and record my thoughts on the first ten songs that pop up. Let's gooooooo!

"Wild Night" by Van Morrison
This song, off Tupelo Honey, is notable for two things. 1) One of the greatest bass lines in rock music. 2) The fairly lame cover version, by John "Cougar" Mellencamp and Me'Shell N'degeochello. (I'm too lazy to look up the proper spelling of her name. If my attempt was correct, I will treat myself to a long, slow blowjob.) I know everyone freaks over Astral Weeks (rhyme) and jizzes their pants over Moondance (rhyme), but Tupelo Honey may be my favorite Van Morrison album. That may be because my parents played it on an endless loop when I was a kid. Then again, they also played Bonnie Raitt's Nick of Time and Don Henley's The End of the Innocence on endless loops, and I don't find myself returning to those adult contemporary classics very often. You've likely heard some version of "Wild Night," but if you've never heard "Tupelo Honey," check that bitch out. It's possibly Morrison's finest song.
"Timebomb" by Beck
Outside of Radiohead, I don't know that there's a modern rock artist that's been as consistently good for as long as Beck. This was a throwoff single I downloaded on a whim, and it's just outstanding. From its attention-grabbing opening - I believe someone is saying "Go fuck a headphone" - to its kiddie choir finale - this apocalyptic ass-shaker always gets me dancing.
"Shelter" by Ray LaMontagne
This is a genre of music I generally detest, the "Sad Bastard Moaning Over Acoustic Guitar About How Sad He Is While He Secretly Plots to Get Into Your Girlfriend's Panties." Elliott Smith and Bob Dylan and the aforementioned Beck have all taken a turn making Sad Bastard Acoustic Guitar music, but when those gentlemen do it (or did it, in Smith's case) it's pretty clear they're not doing it for the poon, but rather because they have to unload the crushing pain in their souls. I get a poon-y vibe from LaMontagne, though he certainly belongs among the better modern SBMOAGAHSHEWHSPTGIYGP artists. He still really annoys me for some reason, and I regret buying this album, which I did because of the admittedly great "Trouble." But then that song was covered by Taylor Hicks, and therefore destroyed in a fiery explosion.
"Why Go" by Pearl Jam
Pearl Jam has never been as important to me as they are to a lot of my friends. I enjoy their music, and I admire their career, but I've never had that intense connection with them. "Why Go" and the other songs off of Ten just don't stop me in my tracks like a Nirvana or a Soundgarden track does. Also, didn't I just hear they're doing a Target commercial? I love me some Target, but...c'mon. Twenty years of sticking it to the man, and then...a Target commercial? Didn't this guy use to bring wire hangers on stage in some sort of amazingly unpleasant abortion quasi-statement? I guess Target does sell wire hangers, but...
"Center of Attention" by Guster
I saw this extremely white-bread band open for Barenaked Ladies back when I was listening to Barenaked Ladies, and their claim to fame was that their drummer didn't use sticks. Just hands. Seemed incredibly painful. They had some catchy tunes, and this is one of the catchiest, but I never pull this CD out and if I thought anyone would buy it, I'd sell it along with the LaMontagne.
"Baby Girl" by Nelly Furtado
Here we go! Love Nelly Furtado. I thought this album was really impressive, diverse, catchy as hell. There's just really not an appropriate time for a straight man to listen to this stuff. For example, this song contains the line "Ba-da-bop-dop-bum-ching-ching," for God's sake. Wish all pop music could be this interesting. Oh, and her "sellout" album, Loose, was even better. I still work out whilst questioning my sexuality to "Maneater."
"Tuesday Heartbreak" by Stevie Wonder
I recently had my mind re-blown by a Stevie Wonder song called "As," and at this moment in time everything that is not "As" sounds like second-tier Wonder (lackWonder if you will), but this gets my pasty white shoulders jiving up and down. People still say 'jiving'? That still considered hip? How about 'hip'? Is that word considered 'square'? People still say 'square'?
"Pueblo Nuevo" by Buena Vista Social Club
I took four years of Spanish, so I feel fairly confident that, translated, this song's title means "New Pueblo." I really enjoyed the documentary on this band that came out about ten years ago, and thus I purchased the soundtrack. It's very sexy, very south of the border-ish. As I listen to this song, I imagine myself slamming a very dark-skinned Cuban chick from behind, in a beachside cabana littered with Corona bottles, while she screams "Ay, Patricio!" and curtains blow all around our sun-dappled flesh. Afterward, as the sun sets, we sip margaritas and she feeds me fresh mango, unaware that I am highly allergic to mango and that it will later kill me.
"Nobody Told Me" by John Lennon
I feel like we've had this conversation on here before, but solo John Lennon? Often preachy and annoying. I'll take Harrison any day. And I know far too little about solo McCartney and Wings. I've got a two-disc compilation that I'm afraid to listen to because of "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime," a song so actively bad it turned me off both Christmas and wonderful times. Side note, am I gonna have to rebuy all the Beatles albums when they re-release them next month? I know they're "digitally remastered" but I feel like the sound on the discs I already have is pretty quality. I know Rolling Stone is going to have an article about what a "revelation" the new sound is, they say that about everything. "The dogs barking at the end of Sergeant Pepper sound close enough to be humping your leg!" Rolling Stone has, in my lifetime, gone from the best music magazine available to the absolute worst. It's a travesty. Terrible writing, the worst movie reviews outside of Ben Lyons, borderline offensive political essays, etc. But back to reissues, is every band going to do this now? I just found myself re-buying the entire Replacements catalog, but at least those discs had ample bonus material. The Beatles reissues will just be the songs. Thoughts? You laying down the dough?
"Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)" by The Beatles
Well shit, now I just blew all my Beatles conversation on the Lennon song. Nothing really to say here, except that this song is amazing and looking at that Anime picture up top is giving me a little Norwegian wood myself. Ummmm... Beatles Rock Band. You guys into that?
I'm not making any promises this time, but I would like to start updating the blog again, at least weekly. If anyone still checks this site, let me hear you. You know I love it when you shuffle your damn self, and share your ten songs in the comments. And I WILL respond by mocking/praising your music, just as you should do with mine.
Yay for a new post! And I love ipod roulette... here's my contribution:
1) "Pollywog in a Bog" by Barenaked Ladies. OK, let me explain... it's
from their kids' album "Snacktime" and I have a 3-year-old. At least this
is super catchy!
2) "Black Pearl" by Bryan Adams. Reminds me of high school and every bad
boy I ever wanted to date.
3) "Beyond the Sea" by Michael Buble. Yes, it's from Finding Nemo, but
it's a great re-tread of an already terrific song.
4) "You Wonderful You" by Gene Kelly and Judy Garland from the movie Summer
Stock. Judy's weight gain/loss was pretty noticeable during this movie,
but her voice still sounds good... for the 10 seconds she's singing. I
love me some Gene, though!
5) "Land of 1000 Dances" by Wilson Pickett. Full confession: I am a band
geek and this was required music at every football/basketball game I ever
played in high school and college.
6) "Hotel California" by the Eagles. My husband loves the Eagles and we've
seen them twice in concert. They put on a good show.
7) "Lying in the Bed I've Made" by Aqueduct. Not my favorite off the "Or
Give Me Death" album but still an OK tune.
8) "I Want You to Want Me" live version by Cheap Trick. Yeah, baby.
9) "This Magic Moment" by the Drifters. This one was something my dad used
to listen to.
10) "Small Wooden Bach'ses" from Mannheim Steamroller's Fresh Aire III.
Mannheim does a lot more than just Christmas music and I grew up with this
one in my house. Not my favorite, but holds lots of good memories.
Dude!!! You're fucking BACK!!! Hahaha - good to see (read) ya again; I've
actually been combing through the archives out of withdrawals. Understood
that you're actually gettin it done down there in LA, working on an awesome
show. . .but it's still good to see ya back. And the shuffleupagus?
Fanfuckingtastic. Paging your friend Les Dothis:
1. Walls (Circus) - Tom Petty; seeing as how I've got roughly everything
the man ever recorded on my player, it shouldn't surprise me that it starts
off this way. Goddamn good song too, love the Lindsey Buckingham
harmonies. 2. Cabo Wabo - Van Halen; still one of my fave tunes of theirs.
Love that main riff, and the last couple minutes get me pumped every time.
3. Sweet Al George - Brad; is it wrong for me to absolutely ADORE the
album Interiors? I don't think so. This is a decent cut from it, but
there's better on there for sure. 4. A Long December - Counting Crows;
been on a Crows kick as of late, actually. The song "Sullivan Street" from
August and Everything After gives me friggin chills. This song is
particularly painful right now, as it makes me miss my girl - yes, we're
both in Cali, and 600 miles isn't anywhere as bad as being across the
country from each other, but late at night when you can't get her out of
your mind, it's definitely far enough away to hurt profoundly. 5. Of All
The Gin Joints In All The World - Fall Out Boy; no, I'm not a 15 year old
girl and yes, I'm straight, but whatever - I dig Fall Out Boy. Pete Wentz
seems like kind of a douche but I can't help but play their music really,
really loud. Catchy stuff; sue me ("America's Suitehearts" has been
kicking my ass recently). 6. Topanga Cowgirl - Mudcrutch; more Petty,
goddamn. The 'Crutch CD is hot shit and it's nice to see he's still
writing some tasty jams. 7. Stone In Love - Journey; this is actually the
re-recorded version (with their new lead singer Arnel Pineda) from their
last CD Revelation. Grew up on Journey and will always love 'em. Plus
that new dude (who looks about 20 years old and four feet tall, roughly)
has got some seriously wailing pipes. 8. Crawl - Kings of Leon; all cause
of you, man. Your ranking of Because of the Times as your #1 CD of the
year awhile back intrigued me enough to pick it up. . .next thing I know
I've got all their releases and can't stop listening to 'em (and BOTT is
STILL in my player). Then I get this Only By The Night and I'm screwed.
My friends, I'm sure, got exhausted with my inability to shut the hell up
about it and how it's my favorite new CD of the last five years or more,
etc. But it's true; I absolutely revere the damned thing. Every track,
every note, every last bit of it. So thanks, dude. 9. Ruff Stuff - AC/DC;
what is there to say? A random album track from one of the boys' late 80's
releases STILL completely out-rocks most of the shit that gets released
today. 10. Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova; a simply
beautiful tune. Showed the movie Once (that this comes from) to my girl
months ago and it immediately became one of "our" movies. Hell, better
that than The Notebook, I guess. Regardless, there's no way to hear this
now and not think of the best thing that ever happened to me.
Anyway. Sorry to end this on such a sappy note, but here we are. Welcome
back, Pat, and congratulations on everything, as well as good luck with all
your future endeavors and all that shit. Haha. . .now, if you'll excuse
me, I've got a late night phone call to make -
I stared at this post for half a day before Stephanie finally broke the
comment silence, and prompted me to oblige you, as I always have before.
I'm not going to follow the rules strictly, though, nor will I go out of my
way to give you your shuffle-response. Here's an explanation: Usually when
listening to the iPod these days, I listen to it on shuffle, but not normal
song-shuffle, rather ALBUM-shuffle, which is awesome because I'm very much
a student of the philosophy that albums as a whole are more than the sum of
their parts, and all that malarkey. So you don't get ten songs, you get
ten albums. I love Album Shuffle! You should try it sometime...basically
it plays a whole album before shuffling to the next randomized album
selection. Pretty slick!
Hey, good to see you back. I love the Ipod Shuffle too, but I'm just too
lazy to play today. I'll enjoy yours and the others lists.
Simply put, Pat - not to get into a big rambling discussion of it to bore
anyone else any further, man - money woes separated us for a bit. I had to
leave the central valley to move down south-way (and not a cool section,
either; the high desert, which is more or less The Devil's Asshole, CA) and
she had to stay. I've seen her twice for about 5 days each, which kept me
alive, so that was obviously good for both of us. There is a recent
development that may make it possible for me to come back, get a job, a
place for us, and all will be right again. I just realized that I of
course rambled anyway, and sorry all. But there be light at the end yet -
I don't know what to tell you about the album shuffle--I don't listen to
music in iTunes while at home, typically; I'll put on the original
CD/record. I use it on the iPod, though. On mine, when you're on the
"play screen" (the screen that shows the
artist/artwork/title/album/whatever) you click the middle button a few
times (3?) until the "shuffle options" show up, you move the highlight to
"album" (rather than "song" or "off") and sally forth. One catch is that
multiple albums that have the same title ("Greatest Hits," for example)
will play one song at a time, but together, so if (for example) you have a
"Greatest Hits" by Pat Benatar, Del Shannon, and The Band, you will hear a
song by Pat, a song by Del, and then a song by the Band, all the way
through the tracklists for those "Greatest Hits" albums. Anyway, I hope
that helps...if not, I'd suggest reading the manual/help file to figure it
out!
Pat, I finally have an mp3 player so I can participate in the blog! (But I
went Zune just so I can have the world to myself if iPods become sentient
and start strangling their owners). Anyway, here goes:
UM it's been almost a month. What a tease! Where are you? I can only give
blog-city so much content, my friend.
"Dirty Harry" is the best Gorillaz song (not to be confused with "Clint
Eastwood").