Holiday Movie Review Roundup: Wendy and Lucy and Seven Pounds of Doubt and Solace in Australia

Have high hopes for all the big holiday Oscar movies? Sorry. Almost all of 2008's "prestige pictures" are tremendous letdowns. 

SEVEN POUNDS (D)

Will Smith follows up the trainwreck that was Hancock with a movie that is worse. The director, Gabriele Muccino, collaborated with Smith on The Pursuit of Happyness, which I thought was terrific. Something went deeply wrong here. The marketing campaign pretends this movie has some amazing secret twist that they can not reveal, and indeed the film doesn't let you know what's going on for 9/10 of the frustrating, miserable running time. But if you can be bothered to keep your eyes open, you will see the "twist" coming twenty miles away. What you might not predict is exactly how Will Smith will act out his mystery plan, and that is where the script by Grant Nieporte really starts to fall apart. I dare you to keep from giggling during the soon-to-be-infamous "bathtub scene." The movie is completely devoid of humor and energy, and just relentlessly drags, lurching from one Grey's Anatomy musical montage to the next. It's a shameful movie, really, redeemed only slightly by a pretty neat final scene, by Rosario Dawson's endlessly delightful rack, and by a Woody Harrelson toupee that must be seen to believed. Bad. 

Oh, and are you curious as to what the title means? You will be after the movie too. 

 DOUBT (A-) 

John Patrick Shanley (directing for the first time since Joe Vs. the Volcano, a movie that is just now starting to get its long-deserved due)'s Doubt is an extremely juicy actors' showcase, and since we're talking about a couple of the best actors alive, I say let 'em do their stuff. Meryl Streep is excellent (and maybe channeling Nancy Marchand's Livia Soprano?) as a hardcore nun at a Catholic school shortly after the Kennedy assassination. Philip Seymour Hoffman is typically strong as a priest who may or may not be molesting students. And they go at it big time, in one expertly written scene after another. I've seen the movie twice, had long conversations debating every key moment after both screenings, and still have my...doubts...about what exactly happened. Just about every scene can be read pretty much however you want, which is pretty exciting. It's nice just to have something to talk about after a movie. I never saw the Broadway play, so can't make that comparison. But comparing it to the other films of 2008, Doubt easily ranks near the tippy top of a crappy crop. Powerful stuff. (Both the movie and that rhyme I just laid down.)

QUANTUM OF SOLACE (C)

Several friends told me "After the opening car chase, it's pretty bad." You can imagine my disappointment when I walked into the screening as the opening car chase was ending. What I did see left me feeling exactly like every other James Bond movie I've seen: "This was exactly like every other James Bond movie I've seen." I didn't think Casino Royale was some bold new step forward for the franchise, I don't think Daniel Craig is some electric screen presence, and the action and certainly story of Quantum of Solace are nowhere near enough to make this thing stand out in a post-Bourne world. Hot chicks, though. So there's that. 

AUSTRALIA (C+)

Ever wish there was a historical Australian romance between the coldest actress alive and a clearly gay man? Did you further wish it could be directed by the "MAKE IT BIGGER AND LOUDER AND MORE OBNOXIOUS!" filmmaker who vomited the inexplicably adored Moulin Rouge all over us a few years ago? And that it contained uneasy messages about racism? And that it could run nearly three hours? Well, wish no more! That movie is here! Sigh. Director Baz Luhrman turns down the Moulin Rougeiness to some degree - at least I never wanted to claw my eyes and ears out with Australia. It's a pleasant enough throwback to the epic filmmaking of decades ago, and it's absolutely gorgeous to look at, with some really impressive cinematography and effective action sequences. But at the end of the day, who in God's name wanted three hours of this? 

 WENDY AND LUCY (C) 

Young woman's car breaks down in a small town. Little by little, her money situation goes from bad to worse. She loses her dog, too. That's all, folks! I tell you, she just can't find that dog! God damn, it's exciting! This is one of those movies critics like to champion for its "realism," but the fact of the matter is, real life is pretty fucking boring sometimes. Today I woke up, had some Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and worked on a script. I'll be heading to the gymnasium momentarily. That's the realism of my life this week. I'm not going to be making a movie out of it. It's a shame this thing just sits there like it does, because I should have related very strongly to the tale of a young person with a constant, terrified eye on her bank account. I was there less than a year ago. 

Michelle Williams is fine, I suppose. She doesn't wear makeup, so you know she's really fucking serious. There is one tremendously likable character - the security guard beautifully played by Wally Dalton. But Williams' character can barely muster the energy to thank him for all he does for her, and so you wind up not giving a shit about her. And when you don't give a shit about a character who's in every single scene, an 80 minute movie (which this is) feels more like 120. Director Kelly Reichardt also did Old Joy, which has been repeatedly recommended to me and which has sat on my DVR for six months. If it's anything like this, I'm confident I'm not missing much. 

tags: quantum of solace  james bond  007  daniel craig  doubt  meryl streep  philip seymour hoffman  seven pounds  will smith  wendy and lucy  michele williams  australia  hugh jackman  nicole kidman  

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